no regrets

My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.

Derek Loux

Dear ones, your love and prayers have touched our hearts in a deep way. We are so very grateful for each one of you. Adoption is messy. It is absolutely outrageous. It begins with loss and sometimes it ends with loss. But, it's also beautiful, and doesn't that describe what God has done for us in Christ?

Despite the pain, we do not regret that God lead us down this path. We still believe that it was God who called us to walk towards R., and even though we don't understand all of the reasons why we weren't able to adopt her, we do trust in the One who offers R. full redemption. We know that He is bringing beauty from ashes, and we know that He has amazing plans for R.'s life.

At this point, our biggest prayer is that our sweet R. would have a family of her own. Of course, we will always love her and a part of our hearts will always belong to her, but she still needs a family who can rescue her and bring her into their home and love her with hugs and kisses and blessings and playing and prayers and laughter. Please pray for this kind of family for our precious girl! She is beautiful and gentle and silly and sweet. Any family would be blessed to have her as their daughter.

Please know that we are doing well. So much of our grieving happend over the past two months and now we are simply resting. God is speaking. He is leading and guiding and we just want to follow Him. He is such a good Father. And even though it was costly, exhausting, expensive and outrageous, I know that He doesn't regret that He adopted me.

Amazing God.

He's been preparing my heart

On R.'s birthday (March 16th), I was home alone. I emailed a friend, telling her that I felt like it was a "goodbye day". I was grieving, although I wasn't even sure why. Yes, India was slow. Yes, the journey was difficult. But there really was no reason to believe that we wouldn't be able to adopt R.

I know now that God was preparing my heart.

A couple of weeks after R.'s birthday we were told that CARA denied our application to adopt due to our family size. We appealed the decision, with great hope in our hearts. A week later we were denied again. Our family then went into full gear, seeking out any avenue in order to change CARA's decision.  But it didn't happen. Their decision has remained the same.

Oh, the roller-coaster of emotions. In the past two months we have experienced feelings of grief, anger, sadness, confusion and pain. But through it all, our God has been faithful. And in the past two weeks, our gentle Father has reminded me of some things that give me great peace. They are not things that I can share or adequately explain right now, but they have allowed me to let this precious girl go. And they have allowed me to have faith that she will be cared for, she will not be forgotten, she will be loved with an overwhelming love.

So, to the One who has been preparing me for this time, I offer up all of my plans and dreams for our precious girl. And I entrust R.'s life to Him who is always faithful, who is all-together lovely, who is full of kindness and grace and who never forgets His promises.

two peas

in a pod

I had some time alone with each of these two today (lunch with Adam and an evening together with Grace) and was reminded of how much they are alike.

kind

compassionate

affectionate

gentle-hearted

full of love

Oh, how I love these two sweet peas!

Would you consider?

You have to "meet" my wonderful friend, Kristen. She has an amazing heart for God and for orphans! Kristen has had a bumpy road in the journey to her sweet daughter, M., but she has finally received her official match!

Originally, Kristen was in the process to adopt from Nepal, but then Nepal closed and she lost all of the money that she had already paid towards her Nepali adoption.

So....now that she has her official match, she needs quite a bit of money (by Friday!) to pay her Ind*a fees. Would you consider donating to her adoption fund? Honestly, every little bit helps...even if it's just $5 or $10, it really does add up!

Kristen is also doing a fundraiser with Ordinary Hero. So, you could buy a t-shirt or donate a Bible for a child in Africa, and Kristen will receive a percentage of the donation.

Both the chip-in and the Ordinary Hero button are on Kristen's sidebar.

Thank you so much for helping little M. come home!

Blessed, blessed, blessed!!!!

Oh my goodness! I am just so incredibly blessed of the Lord! Thank you, Jesus for my beautiful, beautiful children!

This Mother's Day, I asked David to take some photos of me with each of my children. I love looking at these precious pictures.

Sweet Jadon, you lavish me with affection every day of the year! Thank you so much for your hugs and kisses! You are such a blessing!

 Precious Grace, I LOVE being your mama! You are a dream come true for me. Your gentle, loving spirit blesses me beyond what you could ever know!

 Oh my Lil! I am so grateful that you are my daughter. You are a fiery, amazing, precious gift from God! I LOVE you, sweet girl!

Yana, I prayed for years for you and God was so gracious to place you in my life. You are growing into quite the young lady! God is doing incredible things in your life!

 

Adam, I am blessed every day by your unrelenting pursuit of God and holiness! You are a treasure beyond compare!

And to my own beautiful Mom, I love you and miss you so much! Thank you for your life given over to love...praying that we can be together this summer.

 

Happy Mother's Day, dear friends! May each one of you truly experience the blessings of this special day.

Refuge

This is Lily's drawing of The Refuge House that she dreams of building for orphans in Ind*a some day.

Keep dreaming with God, sweet girl.

May He give you the desires of your heart!

precious friends

We had such a fun evening with our friends, Chuck and Sandy, last night. Chuck is a precious friend from our church and Sandy is a friend whom we've gotten to know through Chuck. It's been way too long since they've been over for dinner!

Chuck and Sandy have such loving hearts. They really know how to show affection, and love to ask questions about our life and family. They have such a concern for R. They asked about her numerous times during the evening.

Our kids adore Chuck and Sandy and asked if they could come over for dinner every week. One thing is for sure...we're certainly not going to wait for months to have them over again!

Thanks, Chuck and Sandy, for being such a tremendous blessing to our family and our lives! We love you!!!