a new thing (the where)

God is doing something fabulously new in our lives, but if you had run into me a couple of weeks ago, you probably would have seen me crying. I think that I cried for about a week straight.

Someone would ask me a question: tears.

Someone would smile at me: tears.

Someone would look at me: tears.

Well, you get the idea...

But, even though my tears were in part from sadness, a much bigger portion of my tears were the result of overwhelming gratefulness to our God and what He is doing in our family.

You see, for the past number of years David and I have sensed that we were to do something new, something other than what we had been doing (though certainly involving aspects of what we were already doing). We prayed, sought the Lord, talked with one another and asked a few close people in our lives for input and advice.

And even though we felt like the Lord was giving us clarity and direction about a number of things, there was absolutely no place to live it out and no one with whom we could share in this calling. We knew, without a place and a people we would not be able to fully respond to all that He was asking of us.

So we waited.

And sought Him.

And waited some more.

But now, praise be to our amazing, faithful, and all-powerful God, we are no longer waiting!!!!!

(And as a beautiful side-note, we now understand much more of why He was having us wait in the first place.)

I will share more (of the what, why, and with whom) in the weeks to come, but for now I'll simply leave you with a snippet of where it is that we are going:

best date ever

This past week, I had one of my best dates ever...

and it wasn't with my husband!

(Although, I've had some absolutely wonderful dates with my husband, as well!)

 It was with this guy!

In honor of Mother's Day, Adam took me out to our favorite Indian restaurant.

We had such a great time, talking and eating, eating and talking, and then eating some more (they have an amazing lunch buffet).

After lunch, we went to see the movie 42, which is a wonderful film about Jackie Robinson. Then, we headed to Cold Stone for dessert, where we had a great conversation about the movie. I so enjoy talking to my almost grown-up son. He has such profound thoughts and ideas about the world and his heart is truly filled with compassion and love.

Adam planned out the entire day, coming up with ideas that he knew I would enjoy. He even checked directions of how to get everywhere so that every part of the date could be a surprise. At one point he exclaimed "I can't wait until I can drive. Then, when I take you out on dates, it will be a lot easier to surprise you." Oh, how I love this boy young man!

Thank you, Adam, for a wonderful date. You are so thoughtful and giving. It is one of my greatest joys to be your mom!

Happy Mother's Day!!

I love you, Mom!!!

Praise Him with dancing!

Every year, just before Christmas and in the spring, we have the great pleasure of attending Celebration Ministry of Art's dance recital. It really is a joy to see these young ladies worshiping our precious Jesus, in dance. This year, I decided to only take pictures during the dress rehearsal, instead of during the actual performance, so that I could simply enjoy the time of worship, during the recital.

Grace danced to You Put this Love in my Heart.

What a sweet group of girls, dancing to such a joyful song.

Lily danced to Esther, by Esterlyn.

I cried every time that I saw her dance to this song (even practicing at home).

Lily has danced with this same group of girls for the past few years, and this dance was just beautiful.

Praising God for this wonderful opportunity for our daughters to learn to worship and praise Him.

knowing who you are (the spirit of adoption)

It was a warm, beautiful day in Guangzhou. David and Kaikai were walking a little ways behind Grace, Lily and myself, so the girls and I stopped to look out over the lake. A (non-Chinese) man walked up next to us. "You have beautiful daughters," he exclaimed.

I thanked him and continued to talk to my girls.

"Is their father Chinese?" he asked.

"They are adopted," I explained.

"I see. Why didn't you want to have children of your own?" he then asked.

I had an instant flash of anger that this man would ask such a question in front of my girls. "They are my own," I answered curtly.

"Oh, you know what I mean," he continued, oblivious to my irritation. "And what about their real mother?"

That was when I decided that it was time to leave. I turned to him and explained quite clearly that I was their real mother, since I was the one who loved them and took care of them and lived with them.

"Yeah," Lily added in her characteristic, firm way, and then we walked away.

Later on, I asked my precious Lily if she felt hurt by what that man had said. Her response surprised me at first. "No," she said, "That sort of thing doesn't bother me. I know that you're my real mom," and then she gave me a hug.

But when I thought about her response later, I wasn't so surprised, because my sweet Lily

knows who she is.

Lily is a beloved daughter.

She is absolutely treasured.

She is accepted, cherished and greatly loved.

She knows that she takes my breath away.

She knows that there is nothing that she can do to lose David's and my love for her.

She is ours and we are hers.

Lily is so secure in who she is, that it caused me to ask myself,

"Do I know who I am, like that?"

When the world tells me I am not good enough, or that I am unwanted and unloved, does my heart respond with the truth?

Do I say, I am a beloved daughter!?

I am treasured, cherished, accepted and greatly loved.

Do I know that I take my Father's breath away?!

Am I aware that there is nothing that I can do to lose my Father's love?

I am His and He is mine.

Oh Father, it's true!

I am Your beloved daughter and there is nothing that anyone can do or say to change that. Let this fact grow deeper and deeper into my heart. Let it be my identity.

And dear friends, may it be your identity, as well!

May you know who you are in Christ...

a daughter/son of the King!

Absolutely beloved.

Thank you, Father, that is who we really and truly are! 

heroes

Mother Theresa

Isobel Kuhn

William Wilburforce

Stephen

Hudson Taylor

Gladys Aylward

George Muller

Jacob Deshazer

Brother Andrew

True heroes,

because the thing that defines their lives is...

love

This past weekend I actually got to see and listen to one of my heroes.

Heidi Baker 

My friends, there are some people in this world who are so filled with the love of Jesus that it is a pleasure simply to be in their presence. Heidi Baker is one of those people. She oozes love. Seriously. And the thing that makes her so unique is that she doesn't even want the attention that is given to her. She wants all of the attention and glory to go to our precious Jesus. She considers it an honor to love Him and to love His children.

At the end of her talk on Friday (not really a talk so much as a prayer), she was very tired. But, in a room full of people, she took the time to bless our precious Kaikai. She got down on her knees, told him her Chinese name (she and her husband were missionaries in Hong Kong before moving to Mozambique), hugged him, kissed him and shared the love of Jesus with him. This was no half-hearted love. It was love that gave abundantly.

Oh, my precious Jesus, I want to love like that. I want to learn to love and love and love some more. I want to gladly give my heart away to those who need love. I want to share Your overwhelming, affectionate love with a world who needs heroes who love.

And I know that this is only possible because of Your great love. This is only possible because You loved us first. Thank you, Jesus, for the example of this beautiful hero. Thank you that her love points me to the only One who can fill me with that same love, and who can even transform my little heart into a heart of love.

snow day...

We finally got our long-awaited, spring snowstorm.

The new buckstove, that David traded for the price of caulking a shower, has been running all day.

The littles are building a snowman.

The bigs are playing games.

And I'm enjoying a few moments to blog.

But, it looks like Grace and Kaikai are ready to come in, so I'm off to get the promised hot chocolate heated up!